Saturday, February 27, 2010

Wish u a Holi SMS

BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179793169242427138

Pichkari ki Dhar, Gulal ki bauchar, Apno ka pyar, Yahi hai yaaron holi ka tyohar. Happy Holi!!!!

Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas and melodious songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wish you a very happy and
wonderful Holi.


May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love and all other colors you want to paint in your life. Happy Holi.

If wishes come in rainbow colors then I would send the brightest one to say Happy Holi.

A true and caring relation doesn't have to speak loud, a soft sms is just enough to express the heartiest feelings. Enjoy the festival of Holi with lot of fun.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Best HOLI SMS Collection

Best HOLI SMS Collection

Best HOLI SMS Collection



Pichkari ki Dhar,
Gulal ki bauchar,
Apno ka pyar,
Yahi hai yaaron holi ka tyohar.
Happy Holi!!!!






Tune dil ke darwaje mere liye kholi
aur dekho mein lekar aagaya tumhare liye HOLI


Sunhari Dhup Barsat ke Bad thodi Si Hashi Har Bat ke Bad Usi

Tarah Ho Mubarak App Ko Ye Nayi Subah Kal rat Ke Bad Happy Holi.



_________ U've
!'--.___.--'! got a
i________i CARD.
Open it...

§«§«§«§«§«§«§«§«
§ H A P P Y §
§ H O L I §
§«§«§«§«§«§«§«§«
Have a Nice Day!

Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
“Happy Holi”.

A paint is not a paint without Rangeli
Functions are not functions without Holi


0 days
312 hours
18720 mins..
1123200 seconds...
are left.... I think i am the first person to
wish U HAPPY HOLI.


May God gift you all the colors of life,
colors of joy, colors of happiness,
colors of friendship, colors of love
and all other colors you want to paint in your life.
Happy Holi.


Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar,
Dher Saari Khushiyo Se Bhara Ho Aapka Sansar,
Yahi Dua hai Bhagwan Se Hamari Har bar,
Holi Mubarak!


Holi ki aisi saam, liya prabhu ka naam,
Mhare piya ne pila dayi mohe bhaang
Mhare ko ab koun bachay haye…
Mhare piya holi khelan aye,holi khelan aye!!



Here I send you Rainbow message…
Dipped Colors of Joy and happiness,
Those will make your life even more colourful..
Happy Holi!!


Rango tum, rangu mein,
Rangde sara ye jahaan,
Bass hassen aur gale lagen,
Aur bhulen dhusmani ka nishaan !
Holi Mubarak Ho !


Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai mein jaana

chod diya.

HOLI se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya?


___,;;;@@@@;;;;@@@@;;;,
__,;;;@@,;;;,;;@;;,;;;;;;,@@;;;
__;;;@@;;;,”–”;”—”,;;;@@;;;
__ ;;;@@;;;–HAPPY–;;;@@;;;
___;;;@@”;;,——–,;;”@@;;
___”;;;@@”;;;—–;;;”@@;;;
____”;;;;@@;;”;”;;@@;;;;”
______”;;;;;@@@;;;;;”
________’;;;;@;;;;”
___________”;”


Tag:[tag] Holi sms, text, Happy holi, holi sms collection, holi

sms, holi Festival hoi sms [/tag]

Doctor jokes-Guidelines for success

Doctor's son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success.

Doctor :
Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.

NAVNEET KAUR Telugu Actress Spicy Pictures Gallery


Miladi nabi sms

On this auspicious occasion
of Miladi nabi
I'm wishing that your
home & heart is blessed
by the prophet
with love, peace & prosperity!

UNICEF award winning advertisements..

What effective messaging !!!! Read Special mentions



FIRST
Fashion Claims more Victims than you think

Save the Animals





CCA-Unicef Special Mention
Gender in Education





Special Mention
Against Corruption





Special Mention
Road Safety





Special Mention

Nature is incomplete without Female Gender. Save girl child





Special Mention
Help Street Children





Special Mention
Save Trees





Special Mention
Road Safety


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

GREAT SARDARS FUNNY SMS

Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR



n i d o k i d o s
Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.


n i d o k i d o s
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?


n i d o k i d o s
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!


n i d o k i d o s
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.


n i d o k i d o s
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my
wife? Sit behind. I will drive.


n i d o k i d o s
Interviewer: Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!


n i d o k i d o s

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

n i d o k i d o s
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

n i d o k i d o s

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

n i d o k i d o s
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

n i d o k i d o s
Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent.."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

n i d o k i d o s
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

n i d o k i d o s


Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE
n i d o k i d o s

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Funny sms 1

Hrithik : Aaj mere paas 4 cars hai,
3 bikes hai,
mobile hai,
bunglow hai,
farm house hai,
tumhare paas kya hai?
Abhishek : Mere baap ke sar pe baal hai

*******************************************

Banta Clinic mai Baitha Ro Raha tha,
Santa Ne Pucha Q Ro Raha hai,
Banta;Blood test mai ungli kat di
Santa;Zor se Rone Laga Mera to urine test he.


*******************************************

SAnta-batao raste k dono tarf ped kyu hote he,
Banta: polution kam karne k liye,
Santa-Galat
kyuki agar ped raste me hote to gadiya kaise jayengi.


*******************************************


Baap:beta koi bat nhi tmhari qismat me fail hona likha tha ho gye
Beta:ye to acha hua dad maine pura saal nai padha warna sari mehnat bekar ho jati.


*******************************************

"CHAPPAL" Choti Ho jaye to "Paown" me Nhi aati
"CHAPPAL" Choti Ho jaye to "Paown" me Nhi aati
wah Wah
"BIWI" moti Ho jaye to "BAAHON" me nahi aati


*******************************************

Ek ganje ke sir par 2 baal the dono ko apas me pyar ho gaya,
Or shadi karna chahte the magar kr na ske Q?
Qki baal vivah kanuni apradh

*******************************************

Santa scho0l se rota aya
ma-Q ro rhe ho?
S-Sir ne mara
M-Q
S-Wo banta Ko dant rhe the to maine Use Misal Di.
Jo "bhonkte" he wo "kat'te" nahi.

*******************************************

Monday, February 22, 2010

Why did the chicken cross the road? - Funny Jokes

DR.PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... @&&^(C% ........REBOOT!

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?


http://indiankhichdi.blogspot.com/

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Most Romantic Dialogues of Bollywood Hindi Movies

Guide
Aaj Main Kitni Aazadi Mehsoos Kar Raha Hoon!
Jism Jaise Maange Karna Bhool Gaya;
Man Tadapna – Tadpaana Bhool Gaya;
Jeevan Aaj Jaise Mutthi Me Hai !
Maut Jaise Ek Khel Hai!
`
Lagta Hai Aaj Har Iccha Puri Ho Gayi….
Par Ab Maza Dekho, Aaj Koi Iccha Hi Nahi Rahi !
`
Zindagi Pighalkar Prakash Ban Gayi…..
Aur Sacchaai Mera Roop Hai !
Tan Rahe Na Rahe , Mai Rahoonga!
`
Aag Mein Phek Do, Main Jalunga Nahi!
Talwaar Se Vaar Karo, Main Katunga Nahi!
Tum Ahankaar Ho, Tumko Marna Hoga;
Main Aatma Hoon, Amar Hoon!
`
Maut Ye Khayaal Hai Jaise Jindagi ye Khayaal Hai !
Na Sukh hai, Na Dukh Hai
Na Deen Hai, Na Duniya
Na Insaan , Na Bhagvaan
Sirf Main Hoon, Main Hoon, Main Hoon,
Main Hoon…Main ..Sirf Main !!
`

Anand

“Babu moshai, hum aane waale dukh ko kheench taan kar is pal main lee aate hain. Aisa kyon?”
`
‘Anand mara nahi. Anand marte nahi’
`
“Chela jaate jate guru ko sikhaa gayaa”
`
“Babu moshai zindagi aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badal sakte hain na main. Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain jiski dor us upar wale ke haathon main hai kab, kaun kahan uthega ye koi nahin janta “

puzzle sms

9 9 9 9 5 5 5 5 3 3 3 3 1 1 1 1

Is me se kin 6 no. ka total 21 hota hai?


.....Its challenge for U…

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Funny Telegrams

Telegrams had always been a source of quick transfer of information, until telephones and mobiles came and replaced them. But did you ever thought that this source of communication could sometimes be quite awkward and funny.

See some examples:

TELEGRAM 1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,
which the father receives as:
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."


TELEGRAM 2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a
telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife:
"I wish you were her."


TELEGRAM 3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return
to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was
the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the
queue,she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her
husband which reached as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an
old lady."


TELEGRAM 4
A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party.
So he goes to order a birthday cake.
The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says:
Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".
The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"
The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and
"You are getting better" at the bottom.
The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party
watched the message decorated on the cake:
"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the
bottom".


TELEGRAM 5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer . His wife was in her parent's house in
Delhi .

When the man went to Ajmer , he asked his servant to send a telegram to
his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer .
He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.
It was written: 'Sethji aaj mar gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye).

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

LOOK AT THE EYES FOR A FEW SECONDS

DEAR ALL.............

LOOK AT THE EYES FOR A FEW SECONDS...........

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and exclaimed "sala aaj bhi phisalna hoga".

Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed "ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!

Santa Singh apply for a post in Microsoft

Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Singh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks

Santa singh jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Santa singh continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.

Dear Mr. Singh-----pyare singh sahab

You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.

No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Where is the Indian ? must read

Please read the content and pass it to as many possible.

An American visited India and went back to America
Where he met his Indian friend who asked him
How did u find my Country
The American said it is a great country
With solid ancient history
And immensely rich with natural resources.
The Indian friend then asked.
How did u find Indians??

Indians?? Who Indians?? I didn't find or met a single Indian there in India.

What nonsense??
Who else could u met in India then??
The American said..
In Kashmir I met a Kashmiri
In Punjab a Panjabi
In Bihar, Maharastra, Rajasthan, Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Kerala
Bihari, Marathi, Marwadi, Bengali, Tamilian, Malayali

Then i met
A Hindu,
A Muslim,
A Christian,
A Jain,
A Buddhist

And many many many more
But not a single Indian did i meet

Think how serious this joke is..
The day would not be far off when indeed we would
Become a collection of nation states as some
Regional anti-national politicians want...
Fight back -
Always say i am an Indian
Jai hind

Sunday, February 14, 2010

This heart of mine would surely die

This heart of mine would surely die
And my body would wither by and by
But my love for you will go on and on.
Yes, it will still be there after I`m gone.

You will feel me on the soft gentle breeze
As you wander through the tall forest trees.
I will be on the beach as the tide comes in
That will remind you how easy my heart was to win.

You will go about your work and play
And remember how you loved me one day.
Love is so strong, the heart is weak.
The tears will flow, the eyes will leak.

No, I never wanted to go away.
But without your love no reason to stay.
Even if you took your love from me
I would forever in your heart be.

The angels will come and sing you a song
They will tell you how I`m getting along.
They will whisper about my love for you
And let you know my heart is being true.

So, if that time should ever come to be
And you say, "I`ll love you again," you will see
The mountains, beaches and meadows will know.
As you shout, "I`m sorry I ever let you go."

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie

Question: Why did 18 Sardars
go to a movie?

Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.

Difference between Husband and Gadha

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

Sardar is Selling Guava

Ek Sardar Amrood Baich Raha Tha:

1 Aadmi Aaya or Bola: Sardar G agar Amrood Main Keera Nikla To?

Sardar: To Saaf Baat Hai…
Hum Keerey K Alag Paise Lega.

Love is loss of Money

L ======
O ======
V ======
E ======

L=Loss of Money
O=Out of Mind
V=vaste of Time
E=End of Life.

SO,
Dn’t LVE.
Sirf shadi kro
Or phir bhugtty raho:$

Hindi Jokes

Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!

Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Q. Doctor: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
A .Man: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Q. What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
A. In both cases you feel ‘aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta’

Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
A. Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?

I have a little angel flying around with a Hammer

I have a little angel flying around with a hammer, each person she hits get a little bit of my love…I hope she beats the hell out of you…!

Hindi Ghazals

Hame ek ajnabi achi lagne lagi,
unki bathein dil ko chu ne lagi,

dosti tho na thi par hone lagi,
reply jab atha hai tho ek

ajeeb se khusi mehsoos hone lagi.
DOSTI tho na thee par hone lagi.

sab dosti se payari ek
Ajnabi ki dosti acchi lagne lagi..

Ab ajnabi ka shayar kehna achha laga…
Apne naam se zayada shayar sunna acha laga..

Hum tho shayar hai bhad me
Dost app ne SHAYAR kaha wo lafz acha lagaa…

Humne tho apna naam zahir kardiya
Sunne ki jo ho kwashih ap ka naam

Wo ab apse keh diya..
Dil ne b apni choti si jagah me

Aap k naam kabza kar ne laga…
Ek ajnabi dost hame call karega

Ab barosa hone lagaa…
Ab dil tho diwana hone laga….
Dosti ek ajnabi se jo karne lagaa…

Kayaal rakne ko kehthe hoo….
Call tho karthe hoo,

Magar mizaz puchna bhool jate ho
Dost tho manthe hoo

Magar dosti jatana bhool jathe hoo,
Aye Qudha ye kaisa ajnabi dost ham ne paya hai…

Kayaal rakne ko kehtha hai
Magr baat karne ko darta hai…

Hum b tho unke dost hai Phir kyun
Ye yaad dilana padtha hai..

8 Signs that U Love Someone…

8: U read their Sms Over & over again
7: U feel shy whenever they r around
6: When u think about them, ur heart beats faster
4: U smile when you hear their voice
3: U would do anything for them
2: While reading this, there was 1 person on ur mind this whole time
1: As U were so busy thinking about that person, u didnt notice Point number 5 was missing.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Few Seconds with Stars


How immensely nice it is to lie down in the terrace and watch the stars and imagining shapes of the clouds. The last time I got such a chance was really long back when we were in Mambalam during my pregnancy chatting with my parents about useless stuff and actually lost in watching the stars. It was so peaceful.
Two days back I took my daughter to play area. We were just playing in the slide for long time and then I took her to gym. She wants to play in a place where you have to lie down and do some exercise. I also went with her. We both did lie down and then I was amazed to see so many stars. It was really a nice moment. And I was showing her the clouds forming shapes.

I dont know what she understood but the best thing is she was quietly lying down with me watching the stars.

Why is it that our mind always think about something.I kind of went into totally another world.
For a moment I forgot that am in a gym..in a play area..
It was like some nostalgic moments. I was humming some ilayaraja song and for a minute I was thinking of my school and then to college and it was all those happy moments of my life i had replayed. I came back into reality when my daughter said mummy! see dog :)

Its then i came back but still I didnt stop telling her about the stars.
In my cousins house mostly we sleep in the terrace chatting for long time and then sleep off tired.

EVerytime I am there I used to tell him, see the stars..but can you see one brightest star..which is brighter than all of the others..He would say yes...and then I would say...note it down That is me...I will be like that in my life...Always shining Always happy Always smiling and I would make all my dreams come true. And he would say good and I will always pray that your dream come true.
Next night again I would start the same story and he would still be patient and listen :)


I dont know if all my dreams have come true...But yes I would want to be the brightest star..

forever happy forever smiling and I wish the same for my daughter and for all those whom I love :) (Selfish!!!).

Hey..wait..can you see the brightest star there....:)


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Funny sms

Kanjus 2 dukandar-Zara toothbrush dena,
mere brush ka 1baal tutgaya hai

Dukandar-1baal tuta to naya Q le rahe ho?

Kanjus-Jo tuta wo aakhri tha..



*******************************


Wife Ghar Main T.V. Par Match Dekh Rahi Thi,

Husband Naya Suit Pahnkar Aaya Or
Bola Jaan Kaisa Lag Raha Hu?

Wife;Chilla Kar Boli"CHHAKKA"


*******************************

Girl:Kya kr rahe ho
Boy:Makhiya mar rha hu

GIRL:Kitni mari
BOY:3male 2female


*******************************

Teacher- Bade Ho Kar Kya Banoge

Sonu- Papa Kehta Hai, Jitna Chahe Padh Wo Ni Ban Sakta Jo Chahta Hai

T- Kya Banna Chahte Ho

S- 'LADY DOCTOR'


*******************************

Girlfriend & Police
M Kya Baat Common Hai?
Socho
Socho
Aur Socho
Dono Hi Paisa Kha Kar
Chod Dete Hai..!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Celebrating Love


Its valentines Week...

Time to celebrate Love...

It was in college first year, that I first learnt about valentines day. I used to catch the 12B bus in the morning. And almsot 2 weeks before february 14th I started hearing this valentines day story. What to buy , what to say and how to say how not to tell..all those stories. I was in a womens college. And in the bus I had friends who would all wanted to propose cute girls in my college. Atleast around 5 to 6 guys started talking to me just a week before valentines day being too much helpful in the crowded bus so that I could help pass their letters :).


So well that is how I learnt about valentines day and we friends decided that wow!!!! Valentines day is not just to celebrate between couple...its about love so we should make all those whom we love to feel special. So from then every valentines day we used to buy gifts cute cards and girly stuff not only to friends but also to my parents , sister and grand parents..all those whom I loved..and ofcourse to me too :)


Well, I like all those stuff...the precious thotz...the connexions cards....senti words..stationaries..absolutely not useful stuff are there in my top priority list and well no one anyway is going to buy for me..so I have to pamper myself too....So valentines day was and is special.


Most of my friends including my dear hubby dont believe in celebrating these days...They feel its artificial not in our culture...and every day is special..Ofcourse every day is special..but every day we dont celebrate ..I would love to make each and every day special and when there is a special day coming in..why not celebrate. Ofcourse we love our parents and life partner and friends every day..but everyday do we take time to let them know that we love them..Every day do we take time to stop and think and appreciate all that our loved ones are doing for us...Everyday are we going to surprise them with some silly stuff they like..There are nice moments....everyday in our life..but still by having these days..we just make it more nicer...so whats wrong?


How nice it is to spend time on thinking about what gift to buy to our loved ones...and how to make it a surprise..and then wow..watching that smile when they open it..is priceless..worth a million...


In this busy world where is the time to give surprise to everyone everyday..where is the time to even sit and talk to our parents or long lost friends..so when these days come why to miss it..


So wishing you all a very happy valentines week...Its time to celebrate love...If we are loved by someone we are blessed..especialy if someone loves us unconditionally...for what we are..then we are truly blessed...

So Love All Serve All.


Tell all your loved ones that you love them..and surprise them with your presence.


Happy Valentines Day.



Tuesday, February 9, 2010

How software engineers sing the song of 3 idiots?

Saari umar hum
Coding kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

Saari umar hum
Errors fix kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

Saari umar hum
Nightouts kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me Leave....
Give me some break... ..
Give me another chance...
i wanna go home once agaain..

Kandhon ko programming
Ke bojh ne jhukaya
Faltu program banana to khud
Team Lead ne sikhaya
50% without errors bana to botal chadi,
varna neend udi.

Likh likh kar code hatheli par
Functions, procedures, modules ka chaala
Repeated Programming errors ne poora
Poora jawani ka maza jalaa daala

Jawani to gayi
Sar k bal bhi gaye
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene do jeene do

Jawani to gayi
Girlfriend bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene do jeene do

Saari umar hum
coding kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me Leave....
Give me some break... ..
Give me another chance...
i wanna go home once agaain..


Give me Leave....
Give me some break... ..
Give me another chance...
i wanna go home once agaain..

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Thursday, February 4, 2010

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold.......... on......88986135610204999 8-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much
will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is $49.9! 9"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ?"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing.! .. by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also

diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you
were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints...

Your personality

Your personality. ..when you undress?

Amazing but true.... How you get undressed reveals your personality ........!!

1) If you throw your clothes all over the place, you are a friendly, life-of-the- party type. You are free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about what others think of you. Your parents might think your room looks like a cyclone hit it? But it actually represents your happy, individualistic nature!

2) If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully, you are a serious person who likes her life to be very calm. You are comfortable with routine, and you believe that the best way to deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place. You are a perfectionist. By nature you are quite shy. You are bservant and you know more about some people than they think, just because you've watched them. You are dependable and sometimes intense. You think carefully before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration. You know how to pay attention.

3) If you take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants, you are an extremely self-confident person. You are naturally bright and intellectual. You are also a deep thinker who loves to ask questions and ponder the meaning of things. You hate being rushed and you do not like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.

4) If you get out of your clothes as quickly as possible, you are concerned about others and what they expect from you, but you're worried about your own needs. You are family-oriented, and stay extremely busy. You often feel stressed, but most of those heavy expectations come from your own head! Give yourself a break; you don't have to be perfect.

5) If you take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch, etcetera before anything else, you are a warm and sensitive person. You are considerate and thoughtful, and you give good advice to your friends. You are a natural born romantic.

6) If you don't have an undressing routine and you never do it the same way twice, you are a very curious and interesting person. You enjoy a broad range of activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure. You are very social.

Stupid's Exam Paper

[This one's little difficult than last year's]

1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters (only alphabet are allowed, no numeric
digits or "_" allowed)

2. Sex?
( ) Male
( ) Female
( ) Don't know.

3. What's your age group?
( ) less than 0
( ) equal to 0
( ) greater than 0

4. What is 2 + 2=?
( ) FOUR
( ) 4
( ) IV

5. If you have one brother, how many brothers does your brother have?
( ) none
( ) one
( ) question is too personal

6. Complete the following sentence... (4marks)
______ ________ ________ _________ .

7. If there are 365 days in a year, how many days make a year?

8. Read the statement carefully and answer the following question:
"My mother's daughter's brother's mother's mother's daughter's husband's wife is my mother herself".

Q. How many times the word "mother" appears in the above statement?
( ) None
( ) some times
( ) uncountable

9. If someone gives you a rupee for 100 paise, would you get:
( ) One rupee?
( ) 100 paise?

10. Write an Essay on "MYSELF" in not more than three sentences...
(HINT: My Name is ___________ (same as in [1] ).
I am a _______(boy/girl). (I am writing an essay.)

11. If the time is 3.00 a. m., what does your digital watch show?

12. At what time does the 11.16 hours Indrayani Express come?

13. What do you do on a honeymoon?
( ) Collect Honey
( ) Admire Moon
( ) Collect Honey while admiring the moon

14. Earth is Flat?
( ) False
( ) Indeed False

15. If A = B and B = C then is B = A?
( ) TRUE
( ) NOT FALSE
( ) OUT OF SYLLABUS

16. If you eat lunch during lunchtime, what will you have during dinnertime?

17. Think and write the present tense of THOUGHT.

18. Complete the following poem:
Mary had a little lamb
Little lamb little lamb_ (HINT: "." or "@" or"^")

19. This is question number
( ) 1
( ) 19
( ) 20

20. If 2 + 3 = 5, 3 + 2 = 5??
( ) YES
( ) I FORGOT TO GET MY CALCULATOR

21. Write full form of ASAP, as soon as possible ( Hint...As Soon as.. )

22. Opposite of the word "IN" is
( ) NOT IN
( ) CRICKET
( ) HOCKEY


23. What is the capital of India?
( ) India
( ) INDia
( ) INDIA

24. a, e, i, o and u are collectively called "vowels". What are e, a,o, u and i called?

25. Fill in the blank:
I am _________ a letter.
( ) READING
( ) WRITING
( ) SEALING

26. Who was the first MAN to land on moon?
( ) MR. ARMSTRONG
( ) MISS ARMSTRONG
( ) MRS ARMSTRONG

27. What comes first?
( ) the Egg
( ) the Omelet

28. Can you count more than five using your hands?
( ) YES
( ) NO

29. Spell M-Y-T-H-O-L-O-G-Y

30. Mrs. Sinha is Mr. Sinha's
( ) Father
( ) Brother
( ) Son
( ) Daughter

31. Car A starts from X and car B starts from Y. X and Y are located 100 miles apart from each other. How many wheels does each car have?
( ) One
( ) Four
( ) Seven

32. To reach the 12th floor of the World Trade Center, how many buttons would you press in the elevator?
( ) ONE
( ) TWELVE

33. Complete the following series [this question carries 3 marks]
1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, _, _, _.

34. This one tests your imagination. SUN is nearer to India than AMERICA because...
( ) SUN is smaller than AMERICA
( ) One can see SUN, but not AMERICA
( ) I do not have any time left to think on this one.

35. On which day Good Friday falls
( ) Sunday
( ) Wednesday
( ) Saturday

ANSWER IF U HAVE THE GUTS TO SOLVE IT

Software Engineer and his Wife talking

Software Engineer and His Wife Talking

Husband - Hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you and your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters..

Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.

Husband Wife

Phone rings,

Husband: If it is for me then say that I am not at home.

Wife answered: He is at home.

Shocked Husband: What the Hell?

Wife: It was for me !!

A Funny Joke

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Student Teacher

Student Teacher

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,"Boy, what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use your hand.
Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM Hyderabad, even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!!

A Treasure Of Secrets Hidden Under A Beautiful Smile

Phone Call

A trainee in a big multinational company dialed CEO by mistake & said,

"Hey, send a hot coffee in accounts Dept in 2 min"

CEO shouted: Do you know with whom u are talking?

Trainee: NO

CEO: I am CEO of the Company.

Trainee in the same tone: Do you know with whom you are talking?

CEO: No

Trainee said: Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& disconnected the phone.

----------------------------------------------------------

Name Change

Father: If u fail in exams again. Don't call me 'Dad'
.
.
.
.
.
.
After few days!

Father: Watz ur result?
?
?
?
Son: Sorry ra Subba Rao

-------------------------------------------------------------


Killing English ……

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls
hostel pulling cigerette... ? "

==============

Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

==============

once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."

==============

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

==============

dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be
fallen down.....

==============

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried
to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

==============

teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

==============

"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around "

==============
My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

==============

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and
erased the board

==============

"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

==============

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

==============

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us....

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

==============

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

==============

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

==============

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

==============

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Appraisal time

This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you
(Specially during appraisal time)

Hey Parth

Incentive nahi mila, Bura Hua

salary cut rahi hai, Bura Hua

Extra shift hogi, woh bhi buri hogi.

Tum pichhla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,

Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo,

Bus apni salary main santusht raho....

Tumhari pocket se kya gaya, jo rote ho?

Jo aaya tha sab yahee se aaya.

Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee

Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.

Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the..

Jo experience mila yahi mila...

Jo support diya company ke liye...

Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo.

Jo system aaj tumhara hai...

Woh kal kisi aur ka tha....

Kal kisi aur ka or parso kisi aur ka

hoga..

Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho..

Yahi khushi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.

"Kyo vyarth chinta karte ho, kisse vyarth darte ho,

Kaun tumhe nikaal sakta hai......"

Policy change company ka rule hai

Jise tum policy change kahte ho, wahi to trick hai.

"Ek pal main tum Best performer or Hero no.1 ya Super

Star ban jaate ho,

Dusre pal main tum worst performer or target nahin

achieve kar paatey ho."

Appraisal, incentive etc. etc. mann se hata do,

vichaar se mita do,

Phir company tumhari hai or tum

company ke.

na yeh increment wageyrah tumhare liye

hai

na tum iske kabhi ho,

Parantu job secure hai

Phir tum tension kyon lete ho........?

Tum apne aap ko company ko arpit kar do,

Yahi sabse bada golden

rule hai,

Jo is golden rule ko jaanta hai,

woh review, incentive,recession ,retirement

aadi se sada Ke liye muqt ho jaata hai....