Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer' s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world

Some Joke... Some more laugh...:)

A prominent lawyer's son dreamed of following in his father's footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.

At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, Father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever -- the one you have been toiling on for ten years -- in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!"

His father frowned, and scolded his son, "I did not say that it WOULD go on forever, son. I said that it COULD go on forever! When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn't it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?"



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I just wanted to let you know that a new Homeland Security Program has been launched by the FBI.



Things will be different now and Internet surfing will be tracked by what the FBI calls a "non-intrusive method".



The FBI says you will not notice anything different.



For a demonstration, click on the link below...



Homeland Security


Quickies

One day I was reading a newspaper. On page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife.

Slightly jealous of the politician, I turned to my wife and said, ""It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives."

My wife smiled and replied, "Why, thank you, Dear."

____________ _________ _________

At a children's hospital, a little boy about three years old was brought into the emergency room. He had filled both ears with tiny pebbles.

After working over an hour to remove the stones, the doctor asked, "Son, why would you stuff so many pebbles in your ears?"

"Because," he replied matter-of-factly, "they kept falling out of my nose."

____________ _________ _________

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

____________ _________ _________

After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and spent the night in the chair.

His wife woke him in the morning. "It's twenty to seven," she called.

"In whose favor?"

Employee Termination continues Worldwide !

Employee Termination continues Worldwide !

The global economy is in the doldrums. Nations are battling a nightmare called recession. Balance sheets are studied with a frenzy and companies are struggling to stay in the black. Yet, the saddest story of the financial meltdown is the common man. In less than 20 days this month, 30 well-known international companies have announced job cuts. Soft drink distributor Pepsi Bottling Group Inc is planning to slash about 3,150 jobs across US, Canada Europe and Mexico as part of its restructuring plan. This is expected to result in pre-tax savings of up to $160 million. "These moves will allow our business to better deal with the challenging macroeconomic conditions that currently exist, " Pepsi Bottling Group's chairman and chief executive officer Eric Foss said.

HSBC: 500 jobs

HSBC Holdings PLC , Europe's largest bank (when market value is considered) , plans to cut 500 jobs in Asia due to the global economic slump , says wire service Associated Press. The cuts will be made in various parts of the business, including back office functions, with about 450 jobs in Hong Kong to be shed, the London-based lender announced to employees on November 17. In September, the bank announced 1,100 job cuts worldwide in the wake of the financial turmoil. HSBC has been hit hard by the financial crisis. The bank was forced to reduce the value of its assets by $4.9 billion in the third quarter, as the cost of bad loans in the US continued to mount and the credit market faltered.

Citigroup: 52,000 jobs

Citigroup has announced it will cut more than 52,000 jobs in the coming months and reduce expenses by 20 per cent in 2009. It said it intends to reduce the total head count to less than 300 , 000 soon. In terms of expenses , the financial services major aims to save $ 50-52 billion in 2009. These cuts are expected to have a 'limited' impact on its India staff strength. Citigroup has about 22 , 000 employees currently working in India . Of which, 12,000 work for Citigroup Global Services Ltd. Citigroup had a workforce of 352,000 in the third quarter of 2008. In the same quarter , it reported a loss of $ 2.8 billion. In the first three quarters of 2008, Citigroup has reduced its workforce by about 23,000 persons.

Fidelity Investments: 3,000 and counting

Leading fund house Fidelity Investments will cut about 1,300 jobs later this month, followed by another 1,700 jobs in the first quarter next year. This means Fidelity is looking at reducing its 44,400 employee-strong workforce by about 7 per cent. Fidelity Investments, which managed assets worth $ 3 trillion as on September 30, 2008, has seen its assets decline sharply following the meltdown in the stock markets.

Royal Bank of Scotland : 3,000 jobs

The Royal Bank of Scotland will cut about 3,000 jobs in the next few weeks. 'The positions will go in its global banking and markets workforce, spanning more than 50 countries. Jobs are likely to go in the City of London , 'said a BBC report. The bank has about 170,000 employees, of which about 100,000 are in the UK .

Sun Microsystems: 6,000 jobs

Sun Microsystems has said it is eliminating 6,000 jobs or 18 per cent of its global work force. It expects to reduce its costs by $375-450 million in the current fiscal. Sun Microsystems is also reorganizing its software organization into new business groups. Besides, it will implement a restructuring plan aimed at reducing costs by approximately $700 to $800 million annually.

United States Steel Corp: 675 jobs

United States Steel Corp has laid off about 3 per cent of its production workers in North America as the global economic slowdown cut into the demand for steel used in construction, autos and appliances. The layoffs, effective immediately, include 500 employees in the US and 175 in Canada.

British Telecom: 10,000 jobs and counting

UK-based telecom major British Telecom will cut 10,000 jobs by March 2009. About 4, 000 of the job losses will be direct BT staff, the remaining 6,000 will be from related employees. The cuts will mainly affect agency and contract staff and offshore workers, the company said, but sub-contractors and other indirect employees would also lose their jobs. BT has also said its India operations won't be affected. The move to cut jobs comes after the company posted an 11 per cent decline in pre-tax profits at pound 590 million for the September quarter. A report in The Telegraph said, 'BT has cut its headcount from 250,000 at privatization in 1984 to 160 , 000 today and indicated there is scope for more job losses. The company said 4,000 employees have already left the business this financial year and a further 6,000, mostly in the UK , will go by the end of March.' BT has a global workforce of 160,000.

Morgan Stanley: 19 per cent of its staff

Morgan Stanley has outlined plans to cut 10 per cent of its staff by the end of the year. The layoffs follow a 10 per cent cut made earlier this year. Morgan Stanley also plans to restructure its money management business by cutting 9 per cent of its staff. It was not immediately clear how many positions will ultimately be eliminated from the company's total ranks of about 44,000 employees.

Virgin Media: 2,200 jobs

The Virgin Media cable group will be slashing 2,200 jobs, or 15 per cent of its workforce, by 2012. This will result in annual cost savings of more than pound 120 million by 2012. The group said it would not start cutting jobs until the fourth quarter of next year, with the majority of the role reductions taking place before the end of 2010. It also said the cuts were not related to the strained economic environment. Virgin Media was formed through the merger of Telewest and ntl in 2006; Virgin Mobile was later acquired by it. The group has already reduced 4,000 staff jobs after the ntl and Telewest deal.

Yell Group: 1,300 jobs

Yell Group, the publisher of the Yellow Pages in the UK , is planning to cut 1,300 jobs over the coming year , which is expected to reduce costs by pound 100 million.

The company has already cut 1,300 jobs since September last year, resulting in a saving of pound 150 million.

Nokia Siemens Networks: 1,820 jobs

Telecommunications solution provider Nokia Siemens Networks said it will slash around 1,800 jobs as part of its restructuring efforts. The company is a 50:50 joint venture of Finnish cell phone maker Nokia and German firm Siemens. Nokia Siemens plans to cut about 750 jobs in Finland . It will also close its Hofmannstrasse site in Munich , Germany , which will affect nearly 500 employees. The company separately announced an agreement whereby its manufacturing site in Durach , Germany , will be purchased in a management buy-out. 'That agreement will result in the transfer of around 500 employees. At the completion of the planned headcount restructuring and employee transfer activities, Nokia Siemens Networks expects to have in the range of 10 , 000 employees in Germany , from an initial base of approximately 13,000, 'the statement noted. In addition, the company has planned reduction of headcount by about 50 in Egypt and by 20 in the United States .

Volvo AB: 1,000 jobs and counting

Swedish truck and bus maker Volvo AB has said it will lay off 1,000 staff at its powertrain unit in Sweden and the United States as the global financial crisis continues to affect the demand for heavy vehicles. He said a number of consultants in Sweden could also receive notices. The Volvo group has previously announced layoffs of 2,000 workers at their truck plants in Belgium and Sweden and 1,350 workers at its construction unit. It has more than 100,000 employees worldwide, including its subsidiaries Renault Trucks, Mack Trucks and Nissan Diesel.

DHL US Express: 9,500 jobs

German logistics giant Deutsche Post AG announced it would slash 9,500 jobs at its DHL US Express business and shut all service centres following the economic downturn. This is in addition to the 5 , 400-odd positions already reduced since the beginning of the year. DHL US Express will also close all ground hubs and reduce the number of stations from 412 to 103, said a company statement. As a result, its annual operating costs are expected to reduce to less than euro 770 million from the present euro 4.2 billion. The US international express network, with a total of 3,000 to 4,000 employees, will be re-tailored to the needs of the group's international express service customers.

Nortel Networks Corporation: 1,300 jobs

Global telecom equipment vendor Nortel Networks Corporation, which reported a net loss of $3.4 billion on November 10, said it will slash about 1,300 jobs as part of its cost cutting measures for 2009. The firm had a net income of $ 27 million in the same period a year ago. Nearly 25 per cent of the reduction would take place this year and the rest in 2009.

General Motors Corp: 3,600 jobs

General Motors Corp, which plans to slow down production at 10 of its assembly plans, says it will indefinitely lay off about 3,600 workers.

To cope with the shrinking market demand, General Motors is also planning to reduce inventory though production line re-rates.

EW Scripps Co: 400 jobs

Faced with a 20 per cent drop in advertising revenue, US media company EW Scripps Co has announced it would cut 400 jobs. Scripps also reported a Q3 loss of $21 million; in the same quarter the previous year, it registered a profit of $16.6 million. The Ohio-based company owns 10 television stations and newspapers in 15 US markets.

Scripps also hosts the National Spelling Bee, which is in its 78th year.

Ford Motor Company: 2,600 jobs

Battling a net loss of $129 mn million in its third quarter, US car maker Ford Motor Company has introduced cost cutting measures including 2,600 job cuts. According to a company statement, it is also planning an additional 10 per cent reduction in North American salaried personnel related costs. Earlier this year, Ford had sold its two iconic brands, Jaguar and Land Rover, to Tata Motors for $2.3 billion.

Volvo: 6,000 jobs

As part of its restructuring plans, Volvo, a Ford unit, plans to cut 6,000 jobs -- including 1,200 agency employees -- worldwide.

Corus: 400 jobs

British steel giant Corus, now part of Indian conglomerate Tata Steel, will cut 400 jobs in its distribution business. A company spokesperson said Corus would consult its workers and have as many voluntary redundancies as possible. He added that the decision had to be taken because of a steep slump in the demand for steel and softening global prices. Corus's distribution business employs nearly 2,400 people at 36 sites in the UK and Ireland .

American Express: 7,000 jobs

In order to slash costs by $1.8 billion in 2009, US credit card group American Express will lay off 7,000 of its employees, amounting to around 10 per cent of its worldwide workforce. The company is also planning to suspend management salary increases, put a freeze on new hires, slash investment spending and cut expenses for consulting, travel and entertainment.

Bank of America : 7,500 jobs and counting

Bank of America has said it will eliminate 7,500 jobs after buying Countrywide.

Thousands of more job cuts are likely as the bank integrates its acquisition of Merrill Lynch.

Development Bank of Singapore Group: 900 jobs

Even the Development Bank of Singapore Group -- Southeast Asia 's biggest bank when one looks at assets -- has not escaped the mayhem. It has reduced its staff strength by 900 employees in its battle to survive the global credit crisis and a 38 per cent slump in third quarter net profit. The cuts will affect its offices in Singapore and Hong Kong .

Mattel Inc: 1,000 jobs

The makers of Barbie and Fisher Price products have not escaped the economic crisis either. Toy maker Mattel Inc has announced it will cutting about 1,000 jobs worldwide. The cuts, which will affect 3 per cent its workforce and 8 per cent of its professional and management staff, will include a combination of layoffs, attrition and retirements.

New York City: 3,000 jobs

The economic downturn has hit New York City hard , with Mayor Michael R Bloomberg announcing the laying off 3,000 employees, cutting expenditure on several other fronts, rescinding a popular 7 per cent property tax cut and suspending checks for annual property tax rebates. These measures will save some $ 1.5 billion but the city will still be in the red.

AMD: 500 jobs

California-based Advanced Micro Devices Inc says it is cutting 500 workers, or 3 per cent of its global staff, in its quest to return to profitability. The struggling chip maker has been facing problems -- caused by product delays and a costly acquisition -- even before the financial tsunami swamped the globe.

Goldman Sachs: 3,200 jobs

Thought of Mother

प्यारी माँ
तू कैसी है
क्या मुझको याद करती है
तूने पूछा था कैसा हूँ मै
मै अच्छा हूँ
तेरी ही सोच के जैसा हूँ
यंहा सब सो गए हैं
मै अकेला बैठा हूँ
सोचता हूँ
क्या करती होगी तू
काम करते करते
बालों का जूडा बनाती होगी
या फिर
बिखरे समानो को समेटती होगी
पर माँ
अब समान फैलाता होगा कौन
मै तो यंहा बैठा हूँ मौन
सुनो माँ
तुमने सिखाया था
सच बोलो सदा
आज जो सच बोला
तो क्लास के बाहर खड़ा था
तुमने ने जैसा कहा है
वैसा ही करता हूँ
ख़ुद से पहले
ध्यान दुसरों का रखता हूँ
पर देखो न माँ
सब से पीछे रह गया हूँ
सब कुछ आता है मुझको
फ़िर भी
टीचर की निगाह से गिर गया हूँ
किसी पे हाथ न उठाना
तुम ने कहा था
पर जानती हो माँ
आज
उन्होंने बहुत मारा है मुझे
जवाब मै भी दे सकता था
पर मारना तो
बुरी बात है न माँ
यंहा सभी मुझे
बुजदिल समझते हैं
मै कमजोर नही हूँ
मै तो तेरा बहादुर बेटा हूँ
हूँ न माँ
अब तुम ही कहो
क्या मै
कुछ ग़लत कर रहा हूँ
तेरा कहा ही तो कर रहा हूँ
तू तो
ग़लत हो सकती नही
फिर सब कुछ
क्यों ग़लत हो रहा है
बताओ न माँ
क्या
इनको ये बातें मालूम नही
माँ
एक बार यहां आओ न
जो कुछ मुझे बताया
इन्हे भी समझाओ न
एक बात बताओ
क्या आज भी तू कहेगी
कि तुझे मुझपे गर्व है
माँ बोलो न
क्या मै तेरी सोच के जैसा हूँ
और तेरा राजा बेटा हूं!

Some CooL & Intresting Images

The worst Betrayal

Generally when we are low or when some one betrays us the first person we look to share our feelings is our friend. A best friend. But what if your own best friend lets you down.
Isnt it the worst betrayal you could ever face and at the end of it what is the lesson learnt.
How could some one who has spent time with us, understanding us and having been a good friend to us suddenly can let us down and even allow others to talk bad about us. Does that mean friendship holds no responsibility.

Some people we meet leave foot prints in our heart but some just leave some cracks in a delicate heart which never could be healed.

Could never blame those who behave in a way to break our heart but have to blame ourselves for letting our heart be so vulnerable.

Broken hearts can be healed though it leaves the mark it has made always.

Happen to read a poem written by a friend who has betrayed his best friend.

An echo fades into the night,

an eerie mournful sound.

A shooting star disappears from sight,

and I crumble to the ground.

There is no life within this garden;

my sobs are the only sound.

I have poisoned the honeyed fountain

where your love could be found.

Dazed, I stare at the stars above,

my grieving howls fill the night!

Unintended betrayal of love has

hidden you from my sight.

I remember how it used to be

when we shared our fears and delights.

You are a treasured friend to me.

How can I make things right?

Feeling afraid, cold and lonely,

I long to tell you how I feel,

but you don?t want to hear me.

The pain for you is much too real.

Should I back away and build a wall

and block away how I feel?

Or, should I give you a call?

We both need some time to heal.

An echo fades into the night as our friendship disappears.

How do I know what is right? How can I ease my fears?

If I do call you again, would the old wounds reappear?

I can?t stand to cause you pain. Hurting you again is my worst fear!

Kabi Kabi Aditi...Does Friendship Matter

Well I happened to hear this song only couple of weeks before and i guess as of now I have heard it more than 1000 times..Just loved the simple lyrics and foot tapping music and the wonderful lyrics. What impressed me more is the personal touch of the song..where almost in everysentence the name aditi was mentioned. Now you might wonder what is the relationship of this song and the tile does friendship matters?

I happen to hear this song by sheer coincidence when I was absolutely upset with my very best friend. My best friend sent me a one line mail saying the friendship is over between us as I have other personal problems and hence could no longber be friend of yours. That too just a day before my anniversary I got this mail. I was shocked and upset.And even tried very hard to continue the friendship.For it takes years to get a good friend with whom we could be ourselves share the same wavelength and be caring and courteous and at times take for granted but just moments to break it.Though my heart was broken I didnt want to give up on my best friend. I wouldnt even wanted to bring my self respect or ego to crash a wonderful friendship. But nothing worked. After that mail from my friend I tried for couple of weeks to sustain our friendship through mails,sms and phone calls. But finally I was forced to give up because at times I understand that the care for each other seems more important than the need for each other. May be today my friend doesnt need me anymore.Though I need my best friend always and a pure friendship always but if its going to be a burden for my friend, I dont want to force it anymore. So its over now. But it hurts. Hurts a lot.

It has caused a great pain in me and even I now kind of feel that I dont understand what friendship is and I learnt a lesson that you should never be emotional. But what to do. For some unlucky souls like me its not the brain which does the thinking but its the heart that thinks. But another big question is how could friendship matter when you are reaching thirty. Where is the time for a woman to maintain friendship when there is demanding responsibilites at home and work. Well I couldnt answer any. All I was thinking so far is each relationship we have is precious. Each single person we meet have come to our lives for some purpose. And no matter what, we should never give up on one relationship just because we have got a new relationship. No one has the right to hurt others feelings.

With all these hurts and heavy heart, I have learnt one big lesson that we should never depend on others for our happiness. No one really needs anyone. Every one is a individual and can come and go in our lives as they please. The sooner we learn to accept this fact we could be more strong and infact more happier.Though I have understood this I am still trying hard to accept this. But till then it still hurts a lot.And I still miss my friend a lot and still care for my friend a lot more. And I end this up with a small poem to my friend MY LOST FRIEND...BUT STILL MY BEST FRIEND(FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE SHARED).

You My Friend

You my friend

You don't always show it, but I know that you care.

You My friend If I'd ever need you, I know you'd be there.I'm glad you're my friend.

Your smile makes me smile. Your pain makes me hurt.

You My friend I want you to know: If you need me--I'm there.

To make you happy, make you laugh.

You My friend Sometimes you make me mad, but I can't stay mad.

You My friend Sometimes I want to get away from you. And sometimes there's nothing I want more than: to talk to you, to tell you about my day, to hear about yours, to laugh with you, to tease you, to share an inside joke, that no one else would get, to argue with you, but know we're just kidding..

You My friend Do you remember the time when...? There are so many times.

You My friend Don't ever lose the wonderful person you are. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay you.

You My friend I'll never stop being your friend. Don't ever stop being mine.

You My friend Just wanted to tell you: I care.

Thats it...And at the same time Thanks for A.R.Rehman and for the lyricist and singer of the song kabi kabi aditi...It kind of really boosted me up when I was depressed.