I Lost my wife

I Lost my wife

I Lost my wife : (Ladies should read not to be missed)

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:

Man: I lost my wife (misty)

Inspector: what is her height

Man; I never noticed

Inspectior:slim or healthy

Man: not slim can be healthy

Inspector: colour of eyes

Man: Never noticed

Inspector: colour of hair

Man: changes according to season

Inspector: what was she wearing

Man: Saree/suit/ I dont remember exactly

Inspector:was somebody with her ?????????
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Man: Yes
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my Labra dog (romeo)
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tied with a golden chain

height 30 inches

healthy,

blue eyes,

blackish brown hair

his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken

he never barks

wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls

he likes non veg food

we sleep together

we eat together

we jog together

we__________ _________&

the man started crying
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Inspector: Lets search the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!! !

Job Application

Job Application..Please Help

Job Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME:
Greg Bulmash

SEX:
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:
Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:
Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:
Aries.

Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jaayega * Title Song Promo*((FULL))

Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jaayega * Title Song Promo*((FULL))