SMS Jokes from MunnaBhai

PROFESSOR: Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI: Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam,
par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
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CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
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MAMU: Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,
aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL: Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,
aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
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CIRCUIT: Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT: Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
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MAMU: Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI: Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU: Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
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PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
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MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
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CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
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MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU: Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
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MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU: B.A.
MUNNA BHAI: Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
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MAMU: Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST: Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
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CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
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PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu