Quote du jour

You've heard it said that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. In reality, whatever doesn't kill you is usually p*ssed that it has to come back to finish the job!

-Proof

Tweet du jour

#ObamaDictionary Transparency: Hide everything, or they'll see right through me!

-Proof

Quote du jour

The pun, of course, is the lowest form of "I wish I'd said that!"

-Proof

Quote du jour

What every newlywed couple needs in a recession, is for their friends and family to give the toasters, steak knives, linens and flatware away to a couple who really needs them, the Obamas.

-Proof, on Obama begging to be put on your wedding registry.

Quote du jour

Titanic? I don't care how many times you see the movie, the iceberg still wins!

-Proof

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“I’ll take drunken starlets for $300, Alex!”

-Proof, on Amanda Bynes tweeting President Obama to fire the police officer that arrested her

Quote du jour

Unfortunately for him, the instructions were in English, so sometimes his hair would stand straight up!

-Proof, on a report that bin Laden used both Viagra and hair dye.

Quote du jour

President Obama told us today it takes ten years to recover from a bad economy. Good thing no one told Ronald Reagan that! He did it in two.

-Proof

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Obama in 2012: He has nothing to run on, but fear itself.

-Proof

Quote du jour

Imagine you are on a baseball diamond. We have cloned Nolan Ryan, as part of our evolutionary experiment and have placed him on the pitcher's mound, first, second, third, shortstop and catcher. What's more, we tweaked his DNA so that he consistently pitches at 90MPH. We put you anywhere on the field with a stopwatch, and have all our Nolan Ryans throw you a 90MPH fastball. Based on how long it takes for each ball to reach you, we know how far away you are from any particular Ryan. Given a constant of time, all of those distances will intersect at one point and one point only.

-Proof, explaining GPS to a probable P.E. Major

Quote du jour

People are saying Obama's NY girlfriend in his autobiography was a composite. More of a polymer, I'd say. Maybe vinyl.

-Proof

Quote du jour

Funny how many libs declare their devotion to 'one man, one vote' but won't discourage voter fraud which lessens a vote's power

-Proof

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"Amazing how many conservatives like NASCAR, since they are constantly turning left!"

-Proof

Quote du jour

Proof's Corollary to Godwin: Any liberal losing political discussions on Obama's policies will state: "It's because he's black, isn't it?"

-Proof

Quote du jour

Those who do not learn from history are destined to retweet it.

-Proof

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Listening to Barack Obama's excuses are like a vintage two year old whine.

-Proof

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Doesn't it bother you that Joe Biden is only one tick away from the presidency?

-Proof, on dog humor

Quote du jour

Offering a “safer” alternative in Huckabee is kinda like opening up an all Oatmeal restaurant: “No heartburn here!” We’ll see if there’s an audience for bland over bold.

-Proof, on Mike Huckabee going head to head with Rush Limbaugh

Quote du jour

"Pelosi claims Congress had 40% approval during her tenure as Speaker. Actually, the 40% figure was the amount of her face paralyzed by Botox."

-Proof

Quote du jour

Wouldn't it be ironic if Obama's re-election was derailed because of a woman named Hilary?

-Proof