Husn Ki Taarif Na Kijiye

Husn Ki taarif na kijiye

suna hai Deewaro ke bhi kaan hote hai

bhagaa kar koi aur le jata hai

hum maasum yu hi badnaam hote hai.

Tujse Doori Ka Ehsaas Satane Laga,

Tere Saat Guzra Har Lamha Yaad Aane Laga,

Tujhe Jitna Bhi Bhulane ki kooshish Ki,

Mere Tu Aur bhi Dil Ke Pass Aane Laga,

" Tum ager mujay na chaho to koi baat nahi ,

!

!

! Tum ager kisi aur ko chaho gay to mushkil ho gi…!

Hum Tum Se Door Kaise Rah Paate

Dil Se Tumko Kaise Bhool Paate

kaash Tum Sanso Ke Alava aaine me base hote

Khud ko dekhate to Tum Nazar Aate.

Jazbaat behkete hain jab tumse milta hu,

Armaan machalte hai jab tumse milta hu

Saath hum dono ka koi bardasht nahi karta,

Sab humse jalte hai jab tumse milta hu

Ankho se tum jaane kya kya keh deti ho,

Toofan se chalte hain jab tum se milta hu

Haatho se hath milte hain hotho se hoth

Dil se dil milte hain,jab tumse milta hu

Aaho me beh jaati hai tanhai ki har raat,

Kai shikve dil me rahte hain jab tumse milta hu

Kyo patjhad me sawan ka deedar karta hoon,

kyo har ghadi sirf tera intezaar karta hoon,

tu kaun hai kaha hai, is sab se anjaan hoon,

kya teri tarah ,main bhi tera armaan

Khuda ki banai qudrat nahi dekhi,

Dilon main chupi dolat nahi dekhi,

Jo kehta hai doori se mit jati hai dosti,

Us ney shayud hamari dosti nahi daikhi

Busy

Busy

God In Heaven Said To Ten Months Child

Amma

God In Heaven Said To Ten Months Child You Are Going To Be Born On Earth Tomorrow .

Child : Cried And Asked How I Will Talk With People God ?

God : I Have Sent An Angel To Earth She Will Teach You .

Child : How Would I Pray To You ?

God : Angel Will Teach You .

Child : How I Will Learn Good Words ?

God : Angel Will Teach You .

Child : If I Suffer From Sorrow ?

God : Angel Will Be There To Listen .

Child : How Do I Find That Angle ?

God : Simple People Call Her 'Mom' Or 'Amma' .... !

Child (Me) :- Love You Mom ...... !

All Boys who are going to marry, plz read this..........

This is a beautiful article:

The woman in your life...very well expressed...

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstained support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

I hope you will do....

A journey back to School Days

A journey back to School Days.. Trust Me Very Nice

Hi Friends Gone are the days!!!

When The school reopened in June, And we settled in our new desks and benches!

When we queued up in book depot, And got our new books and notes!

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, Yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating first with tables and then with Clarke's tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world, Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When cricket was played with writing pads as bats, And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun, While others simply played "book cricket" in the Confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies, Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast, In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When few rushed at 3:45 to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus!

While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint", "kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day , And the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days Of tenth and twelfth standards, when

We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learnt,

We enjoyed,

We played,

We won,

We lost,

We laughed,

We cried,

We fought,

We thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days

When we used to talk for hours with our friends!

Now we don't have time to say a 'Hi'!

Gone are the days

When we played games on the road!

Now we

Code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days

When we saw stars Shining at Night!

Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!

Gone are the days

When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!

Now we chat in chat rooms.....!

Gone are the days

Where we studied just to pass!

Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days

Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!

Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days

Where we shouted on the road!

Now we don't shout even at home

Gone are the days

Where we got lectures from all!

Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!

Gone are the days

But not the memories, which will be

Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and

Ever and ever and ever .....

Gone are the Days.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,

DON'T FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL

EXISTS ....

Regards,

Ravi Shanker

It's too late to say I LOVE YOU ...???

I was afraid of telling you, afraid of admitting it

to myself but it’s true

I began to fall in love with u,

no matter how hard I tried not to

u made me tingle every time u laughed, you made me happy

u taught me to take risks in life,

to laugh when I wanted to cry

I learned to live life the way you do,

4 myself and for who I am

2 accept the challenges and to have fun no matter what I do

Maybe you were an angel in disguise

and what they say is so true

You don’t realize what you have

until you nearly lose it, yes it is

You gave me so much love more than I could wish 4,

I didn’t see it

I didn’t feel it until you let me go,

the word goodbye made me feel it all

I tried so hard to make the pain go away

but I couldn’t do that

So I just broke down and cried, cried 4 you, I was missing you

I don’t know if this is love but the second

I let you go my heart cried

Out for you in pain, I didn’t want to lose you,

if this is god’s way of

Punishing me for nt appreciating you before

I hope it’s nt too late

Too late to tell you all the things

I wanted to but never really did

I care for you alot, this silly fight shouldn’t

come between us now that

You’re gone I am wondering is it too late?

Too late to say I love you?

Do u have a Girlfriend? [Interview]

Do u have a Girlfriend? [Interview]

Story I

E: Do u have a boyfriend?

C: I have.

E: Is he working Locally?

C: No. He is working Overseas.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !

C: Why?

E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't

want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.

Story II

E: Any girl friends?

C: No.

E: So far chased any before?

C: Have, but not successful.

E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?

C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal

issue.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.

C: Why?

E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!

Story III

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?

C: Not quite.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.

C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?

E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is

dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.

Story IV

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?

C: yes

E: Is she your first lover?

C: Yes.

E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.

Story V

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she your first lover?

C: No. Have a few already.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper" ! (Job

hoper lah!)

Story VI

E: Any boyfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is he rich?

C: No.

E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing

with money and you will seduce.

Story VII

E: Any boyfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is he rich ?

C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.

E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to

employ you, neither do we!

C: But,...... there is no position in his company.

E: Then,..... what is your qualification?

C: Secretary!

E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect

your managers' working spirits.

C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.

E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!

TAX: INDIA And Its True But Funny Txing Structure

Born free Taxed to Death........

Question 1 : What are you doing?

Ans : Business.

Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?

Ans : Selling the Goods.

Tax : PAY SALES TAX!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?

Ans : From other State/Abroad

Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?

Ans : Profit.

Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?

Ans : By way of dividend

Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?

Ans. : Factory...

Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?

Ans : Yes

Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?

Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!

Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?

Ans : Yes, for Salary.

Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?

Ans : Hotel

Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?

Ans : Yes

Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?

Ans : Yes

Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?

Ans : Gift on birthday.

Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?

Ans. : Yes

Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?

Ans : Cinema or Resort.

Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?

Ans : Yes

Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

Question 18 : How you Travel?

Ans : Bus

Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?

Ans : Yes

Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?

Ans : Yes

Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??

Ans : Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!

About Friends...NICE ONE

ABOUT FRIENDS

Friendship is not about “I m sorry” its about “abbe teri galti hai”

Friendship is not about “I m there for u” or “I missed u” it’s about “kahan marr gaya saale”

Friendship is not about “I understand” its about “sab teri wajah se hua manhus”

Friendship is not about “I care for u” its about “kamino tumhe chhod ke kahan jaunga”

Friendship is not about “I m happy for ur success” its about “chal party de saale”

Friendship is not about “I love that girl” its about “saalo izzat se dekho tumhari bhabhi hain”

Friendship is not about “R u coming for outing tomorrow” its about “nautanki nahi, hum kal bahar ja rahe hai”

Last one is really good one………

Friendship is not about “Get well soon” its about “Itna piyega toh yehi hoga”

Do You Believe in Numerology?

I never believed in this sort of stuff…

But when I read it I found some of the points are true…

In fact it is long but it is good to read it

Don't ignore it

Sorry for that

Thank you









STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH

If YOU were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month YOU are number 1...

If YOU were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then YOU are number 2...

If YOU were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then YOU are number 3...

If YOU were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then YOU are number 4....

If YOU were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then YOU are number 5…

If YOU were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then YOU are number 6…

If YOU were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then YOU are number 7…

If YOU were born on the 8th, 17th, 26th of any month then YOU are number 8...

If YOU were born on the 9th, 18th, 27th of any month then YOU are number 9...





Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,

Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities,

Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people

Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under

Others, self confident people!

You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get

Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views

And you are most likely to take revenge over your

Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you.

You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and

Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard

To bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some

People too...

Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner &

Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original...

Your best match is 4, 6, 8 good match is 3, 5, 7!!!





Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by everyone coz your ruler is the

Moon and everyone loves the Moon. Well... You are a person who day dream a lot,

You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you

Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances,

Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.

Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect

Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a

Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).

If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can

Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your

Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge

You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any

Artistic business people!

You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get

Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole

Family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or

Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of

Your family...You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision, a power

Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!

Your best match is 2, 5, 9 no other people can put up with you!!!





Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious,

Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems

Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything..

You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always

You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order

To achieve something.. You will not get

Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger

Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them.

You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy

Thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitude! e then

Here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.

Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. You will always

Have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless

Trying and trying... If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you

Will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will

Be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character

And culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition

Focused, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6, 9. Good match 1, 3, 5!!!





Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important

Matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power... Might

Put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man,

And you often understand others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very

Good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends

(Almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will

Spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and

Don’t know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are

Always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls..

You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example

You have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed... Or will do very ordinary jobs.

But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take

Advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too... You are radical, patient, persistent,

a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order...

Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5, 6, 7!!!





Number 5

You are very popular within the community; you can get things done by

Just chatting...to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often

Have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything

When your head thinks "let’s do this". You will be famous if you open up a business,

Get involve in share dealings, music etc... Very popular with sense of humor, you are

The one your friends and families will always ask for help and you are the one actually

Get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship,

But when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will

Have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships!

Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity... You are someone who gets along

With anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number... Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are

An explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!!

Your best match 1, 2, 9. Good match 6, 8!!!





Number 6

Ooopppss...You are born to enjoy... You don't care about others. I mean

You are always wanted to enjoy your life time, you are a person... You will be

Very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented,

Kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very

Beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in

Your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.

You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of

Looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl,

Most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are! A caring

Person towards your family & friends. If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically

And mentally. Generally you will lead very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good

Judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great

Power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...

Your best match 1, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5!!!





Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic,

Very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education,

Music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems

With bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.

You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be

In the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls,

You are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s faces lots of problems with their marriage life.

Only a very few are happy.. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It's probably the Lord given you al! l sort of over the

Standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking

For a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue,

Ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person... You are born to

Contribute lots to this world!!!

Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!





Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will

Understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at something and say "this is what".

You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good

You might lose either of your

Parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.

The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will

Learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight

For justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of

Friends and most of the time live life lonely and always

Prepared to help others. Well. Once you get married (which is often

Late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected

Problems such as: the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents. You are someone with

Great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part

Of a family team. You are a fighter!

Your Best match 1, 4, and 8. Good match 5!!!





Number 9

Hey...you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so

Strong, physically and mentally... You are often having big-aims. You will work

Hard and hard to get there.

Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you

Will have fighting life... But when you

Achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in

The community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.

You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights

And you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grows you become calm and macho type.

Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.

Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.

Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.

You are born to achieve targets and serve everyone all equally without any prejudice.

You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.

Your Best match 3, 5, 6, and 9. Good match 2





**BE LOVE**

Blessing all-ways

Physics Students Movie Names ...Very Funny

If physics students start producing movies titles will be like dis

1) konchem fission konchem fussion

2) jai photon

3)samara spectrum reddy

4)jagadeka transistor athiloka amplifier

5)amma nanna o anti-particle

6)intlo reflectlon vantintlo refraction

7)athaki classical mechanics,ammayiki quantum mechanics

8)kotha nano lokam

9)avnu valliddaru black hole lo paddaru

A True Scientific Lover

Naa ye CHEMISTRY hoti, na me STUDENT hota Na wo LAB hoti, na wo LOVE ACCIDENT hota

Tabhi PRACTICAL ke waqt nazar aayi ek ladki khubsurat si naak uski TEST TUBE jaisi

Uski baaton me GLUCOSE ki mithas thi ETHYL ALCOHOL si thandi uski saans thi

Andhere me wo RADIUM ki tarah chamakti thi jab aankh mili to REACTION hua, love ka PRODUCTION hua!

Fir to lagne lage uske ghar ke chakkar aise, NUCLEUS ke charo aur ELECTRON jaise

Jis din TEST ka PERFECTION tha us din uske pitaji se hamara INTRODUCTION tha

Mano IGNITION TUBE se SODIUM ke piece nikal pade wo bole hosh me aao, pehchano apni aukat IRON kabhi mil nahi sakta GOLD ke saath!

Is tarah tod diya unhone hamare armano ka BEAKER hum chup hi reh gaye BENJALDEHYDE ka ghoont pikar.

Ab unki yado ke bina hamara kaam chalta nahi hain zindagi ho gayi ab UNSATURATED CARBON ki tarah, bekar ghumte ab hum awaara HYDROGEN ki tarah.

Where is the Indian ? must read

Please read the content and pass it to as many possible.

An American visited India and went back to America
Where he met his Indian friend who asked him
How did u find my Country
The American said it is a great country
With solid ancient history
And immensely rich with natural resources.
The Indian friend then asked.
How did u find Indians??

Indians?? Who Indians?? I didn't find or met a single Indian there in India.

What nonsense??
Who else could u met in India then??
The American said..
In Kashmir I met a Kashmiri
In Punjab a Panjabi
In Bihar, Maharastra, Rajasthan, Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Kerala
Bihari, Marathi, Marwadi, Bengali, Tamilian, Malayali

Then i met
A Hindu,
A Muslim,
A Christian,
A Jain,
A Buddhist

And many many many more
But not a single Indian did i meet

Think how serious this joke is..
The day would not be far off when indeed we would
Become a collection of nation states as some
Regional anti-national politicians want...
Fight back -
Always say i am an Indian
Jai hind

Student Teacher

Student Teacher

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,"Boy, what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use your hand.

Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM Hyderabad, even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!!

A Treasure Of Secrets Hidden Under A Beautiful Smile

Phone Call

A trainee in a big multinational company dialed CEO by mistake & said,

"Hey, send a hot coffee in accounts Dept in 2 min"

CEO shouted: Do you know with whom u are talking?

Trainee: NO

CEO: I am CEO of the Company.

Trainee in the same tone: Do you know with whom you are talking?

CEO: No

Trainee said: Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& disconnected the phone.

----------------------------------------------------------

Name Change

Father: If u fail in exams again. Don't call me 'Dad'

.

.

.

.

.

.

After few days!

Father: Watz ur result?

?

?

?

Son: Sorry ra Subba Rao

-------------------------------------------------------------

Killing English ……

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls

hostel pulling cigerette... ? "

==============

Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

==============

once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."

==============

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

==============

dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be

fallen down.....

==============

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried

to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

==============

teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

==============

"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around "

==============

My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

==============

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and

erased the board

==============

"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

==============

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

==============

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us....

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

==============

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

==============

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

==============

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

==============

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Job Application

Job Application..Please Help

Job Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME:
Greg Bulmash

SEX:
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:
Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:
Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:
Aries.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THIS TIRED?